Addiction

Lost Nights

Restless
I push and I shove

Will this be as before?
Run away as soon as I feel love?

Anxious
I grasp and I pull

Will I forget
The only thing that can keep me whole?

Confused
I scratch and I hit

Will I figure out
All the pieces that won't seem to fit?

We cooked dinner. Both of us questioning ourselves and relying on the other. Sharing opinions, sharing stories, sharing laughter. And I thought to myself, "I could do this every day." Because I would be happy to clean your house, and wash your dishes, and cook you dinner. I would be overjoyed to take care of you when you are sick and rub your back when you are tired. I would gladly fold your clothes, and share your troubles, and try to make you laugh.
And I will patiently wait until you realize you feel the exact same way.

"Can't make it all alone

I've built my dreams around you"

Short and Free

The list of things I cannot say 

Is growing larger day by day.

Place my hand over my unceasing mouth,

Swallow back all those permanent words.

Keep them contained deep inside

Like a flock of restless, caged birds.

Someday I will set them free;

They will fly high for all to see.

Their cage is rusted from lack of use.

The lock is shut so very tight.

But I have fed them these long years,

Holding onto the hope of a future bright.

Points to Pain

Significance creates simplicity.

A continuation of falling words, falling thoughts, falling hopes, falling dreams

Catch them, will you? Hold them, can you?

The feeling that these complex situations will soon disappear

They saw that I belonged

They thought I was connected

When was the last time this was true?

Could you understand this deep loneliness?

Do you see that I can’t ever be whole?

I’ll be broken with you

We can be torn apart together

Damages and heartaches

The spaces between the pieces of a fractured life

Take the paint and fill them in

Piece by piece

Until it looks whole once again

Until the fractures have melded together

Be my reality?

Be my understanding?

“Why can’t I be that for you?”

That’s what you asked me

I’m scared of this jump

Even though I love the fall

I’m scared of that first step

Where everything points to pain in the end

Atlas

He is my Atlas:
World on his shoulders
All the responsibility that is his
And not his
To bear

He is my Atlas:
A map to his lands
All the possibilities he envisions
And fears
To share

He is my Atlas:
A diagram of his own
All the pieces that make him love
And hate
To care

"'If you saw Atlas, the giant who holds the world on his shoulders, if you saw that he stood, blood running down his chest, his knees buckling, his arms trembling but still trying to hold the world aloft with the last of his strength, and the greater his effort the heavier the world bore down upon his shoulders - What would you tell him?'

'I…don't know. What…could he do? What would you tell him?'

'To shrug.'”

-Ayn Rand