Into the Darkness

There's a bird that chirps

Outside my window

All night long.

Singing a song into the darkness

And it makes me think

I might want to live

And sing my song

Out into the darkness too.

Bloom

It has been a desert here,
For too long
And I have grown thorns.

Folded into myself,
As my exterior grows sharper,
Safer,
Day by day.

I am unable to be devoured.
And if they try,
I leave a mark.
A remembrance to stay,
Far away.

But suddenly I have found
A flower
Growing in the axil.
Through the thorns.

She is small,
And I long to warn her,
The desert is not for life.
It is death
To any desire for flourishing.

But here she grows,
Undeterred.
Through the thorns.
Beautiful.

It has been a desert here,
For too long
Yet I have begun to bloom.

Savor

The other day we were talking about
Our transient community
And all the people we have loved
And lost because of life here.

And I said to Keeva,
"Things don't have to last forever to be beautiful"
And Keeva said,
"It's just like ice cream!"

So, We will savor each moment,
Like my child eats ice cream.
So slow that it melts into nothing
And we still find it sticky somewhere,
Long after we have thought it was
Washed away

Midnight Thoughts

This is the time when my brain starts to churn at a different speed. 
All day I spend reacting, solving, connecting,
dealing, and suddenly, when it is time to rest

The checklist resurfaces.
And I have completed nothing.

Motherhood

 Motherhood is unending,

Laughter and tears,

Plans and early mornings,

Dinner, after dinner, after dinner.

Who else would stand on the shore,

Sorting strawberries,

To thow to the sea?

Who else would carry my children,

Read all the books,

Know how to get them through a bath and into bed?

Motherhood is unending,

Calls from your daughter,

Even when she's grown,

Sharing moment, after moment, after moment.

Who else can understand these fears,

Often overwhelming,

With constant love?

Who else knows these joys,

Coupled with grief,

Yet filled with laughter?

Motherhood is unending,

Precious through every memory,

A ongoing cycle.

Connecting day, after day, after day.

Miss the Fall

When fall came 

And the leaves began their slow change 

I had to remember 

To pay attention. 

The green subtly turning to yellow, 

Until suddenly, 

Whole trees turn a brilliant red. 

Without our permission. 

When did her pants shrink? 

When did her vocabulary grow? 

The oranges are bright this year 

As we drive down these side roads. 

A multi-colored array of beauty 

Some unturned, some almost bare. 

When did she begin to climb so high? 

When did her hair get so long and light? 

We go for walks and talk about the trees. 

The leaves, the river, 

The blanket that crunches 

Under our feet. 

Our jackets are now on chairs. 

The trees out front are empty, 

We take out our boots 

Everything waiting for winter. 

When did she grow so tall? 

When did she learn to sing so clearly? 

Fall is coming to an end. 

Trees now stand naked. 

More brown than color. 

More empty than full. 

Even though I tried. 

To watch each color change. 

I somehow feel, 

I have missed the fall. 

She is completely new 

But still the same. 

Just like the trees,

So strong and brave. 

Next year I must remember 

Not to blink. 

For when I blink. 

I miss it all.

Belong

"You belong" I whisper to my daughter as she sits, studying the world.

You belong here and now,
And there tomorrow,
And wherever you will be in the days after that.

The air you breathe belongs to you,
And when you exhale you give it back to the world.

You belong in the space you take up.
You do not need to puff up,
Or shrink yourself down.

You belong with your voice.
No need to tear others down,
Or allow yourself to be trampled.

You belong as the size you are.
No smaller, no bigger, just right.
Each moment of each day.

The paths you are on are yours to walk,
Where others have gone,
And will go.

You belong on your own,
And connected to others.
You belong wandering alone,
And here, next to me.

Each moment you exist,
You are not lost.

You belong.
You belong.