Tonight I will make my room really, really cold. I will not shut my window. I will not put on more clothes. I will be cold. Because if I'm going to be alone, I might as well be cold while doing it.
Tonight I will listen to songs on repeat until I sleep. I will not change the playlist. I will not turn it off. I will listen. Because if I'm going to tell myself something over and over, I might as well hear it in a song.
Tonight I will not use my phone until the sun rises. I will not check to see if he has texted. I will not call anyone else. I will wait. Because if I'm not going to ask for help, I should just accept that I'm not going to get any.
Tonight I will drink an overabundance of water. I will not search for chocolate. I will not find that stashed wine. I will drink only water. Because if I'm going to pretend something can make me feel better, it might as well be healthy.
Tonight I will fall asleep. I will not lie awake for hours. I will not wake up in a panic. I will stay asleep. Because it's the one thing I really need, I just need to sleep.
Please world, let me sleep.
No comments:
Post a Comment