Stretch Marks

My third trimester comes with three dark purple stretch marks on the bottom of my stomach. A gift to ruin the bikini body I never had in the first place. The internet tells me 15 ways to get rid of them with lotions and oils and products that will leave me with perfect skin.

Meanwhile, the baby flips around once again.

Tips on food and fitness, on labor and delivery, on breastfeeding and vaccinations all come rolling in. “Have you done this?” “Here’s a list of the things you should do before you give birth.” “Top ways to love your husband before you have a child.” “What birthing classes are you taking? What books have you bought?”

And the baby pushes her tiny head so I can see it through my skin.

I sew skirts and burp cloths. I make a registry. I read the 5th article on un-medicated births and how to make sure everything goes back to normal after birth. They say, “you’ll never know the difference if you do these 10 things”.

But the baby kicks and then punches.

Back to normal. Do I even want that? How can that be when the world is given one more life? How can anything go back to normal? Because even now I can feel her move and I've seen her tiny shape. And she has already changed everything.

So maybe I won’t mind the stretch marks, the sagging skin, the extra rolls. How can I mind these things when I’ve already been given a miracle?

And once again, she rotates inside of me.