Rare

How rare it is

For someone to not drown in our darkness,

To not pull us darker still,

Or only see our light.

How rare it is

For someone to see it all

Intertwined

And say,

"Here I am,

I see you,

I won't look away."

And instead

To stay.

You do not have to be so small,

Pulling yourself down to fill the spaces they create for you.

Take up your space,

And if they look away

Let them.

Land of Death

We wake to another shooting,
Another man dripping with violence,
Children, dead, in their classrooms,

Mothers wail in the street,

For their own flesh,

Walking embodiment of part of their soul

torn away.

But this is America.

Land of the free and the brave.

Land of gluttony gurgling out of every pore.

Land of hatred seething forth.

Land of death.

We will not recover,

All these children we have lost.

The land that bears their blood.

While men with the same violence sit

In power, overflowing with greed.

Unwilling to offer more,

Than a thought.

 Too much.

always.

Too much.

                For the men who are filled

with empty voids.

        With a lack of desire for me,

even though I reach toward them.

Giving,

too much giving.

Why am I always giving?

There's that look.

        Is that all it takes now?

Too keep me here,

Hoping?

                        I listen too well

                                To all the things you have told me.

                                        And I know you long for obsession,

                                 For something that fills.

And for some reason,

it's not me.

I can't fill it.

Even with all my words,

And kindness,

And gifts.

I'm here,

Waiting.

Incredible,

Radiant,

Talented,

Strong,

and still,

Not enough.

Annalise

 "I never saw you as nothing. You were never trash in my eyes!"

Remember Me

There lingers the suffocation.

A feeling that everyone

Is better off

Without me.

Around.

If I drifted

Away into the air, things would be lighter,

Easier

For everyone else.

I see it.

A fading that happens in their minds

As I try to breathe myself back into life.

But I am unable

Mouth filled with cloth.

Choking.

Remember me,

Remember me.

Remember me!

I plead.

But all they remember

are the haunting screams.

That followed me.

And they decide instead,

To forget.

Blood Filled with Sadness

 

You asked me once if I missed being her.

I said no,

Because she was sick,

And sad,

So much of the time.

I sometimes forget that my sadness is older than I allow it to seem.

There has always been a vein of it,

Coursing within me.

For as long as I can remember. 

This girl,

Who should have been so happy.

Newly married,

With a loving husband,

Was filled to the brim with sadness. 

It's not just her. 

The me before her was equally sad,

And the one before that.

Sometimes I think the one before her was fine,

but then I remember,

Those 3am nights.

All of the darkness.

I remember

How hard she tried.

While her body betrayed her,

Sicker all the time. 

And still she fought to be happy.

But the sadness has filled her blood 

for as long as my heart has been beating.